Egotistical Companionship
by Elphie Marky
Summary: [Oneshot, slash, preRent] Roger and Benny have a little contest when they're home alone. Written for the anyonealive challenge at livejournal.


**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

A/N: Written for the anyonealive challenge over at livejournal. Not necessarily romance, but slash, yes. Enjoy.

It was just another typical Friday night for the aspiring rock star and wannabe millionaire. Roger was upside down, almost half off the couch, playing his guitar. How he taught himself to play that way, one may never know. Occasionally stopping play, he took a sip from one of the three beers next to him. If he couldn't go out and party, why not celebrate at home for no reason? Benny was seated at the kitchen table, finishing his personal pizza and downing a beer.

"I am so fucking bored," Benny said at last. "Does it ever occur to you how for the past month, it's just been us two sitting around on the weekend?"

"It blows, man," Roger concurred. "The band gets caught in a rut, I stop getting ass, and Mark gets a girlfriend."

"Life sucks sometimes."

The conversation died at that. Benny kept eating and Roger kept playing.

"Hey, Benny," Roger flipped himself right side up, breaking the silence. "Want to hear my newest song?"

"Sure, Rog," Benny walked over to the overstuffed brown chair across from the couch.

"It's called It Sucks to Be Roger," he grinned. Playing a few opening chords, he began to sing. D7. "Mark's out on a date with Maureen." G. "Which means…" C. "He's getting laid tonight and I won't. So it sucks to be Roger."

"Nice, Rog, real nice," Benny laughed.

"I'm not done!" Roger started playing again. D7. "Collins is out getting high and smoking pot." G. "And I'm not…" C. "He'll probably get some ass and I won't. So it sucks to be Roger."

"Are ya done?" Benny asked, still amused.

"For now," Roger said, setting his guitar aside. "If you want, I can write another verse about my other egotistical roommate."

"I didn't know you considered yourself your own roommate," Benny joked.

"Ouch, Benny, ouch," Roger joked back. "That hurts right here." He pointed to his heart.

"I bet I can write a better song than you," Benny jested. "And sing it damn better than your band."

"Nu-uh," Roger slurred. "You're just jealous that you didn't meet the qualifications to join The Well _Hung_arians." Roger grinned as Benny blushed. "But you are a decent singer."

"Oh thanks," Benny replied. "You may be more _talented_ than me, but I'm better at math."

"Two plus two is the only math I'll ever need to know," Roger retorted, recalling his math grades in high school. If it weren't for cheating off Benny, he'd still be in freshmen Algebra 1.

"That'll get ya real far," he remarked, getting another beer from the fridge.

"I'm hotter than you," Roger said. "Don't try to argue, it's true and you know it."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Mr. Davis," Benny replied. "I have to beat them away with a stick."

Roger snorted. "So you carry a stick around and hit chicks? Dude, that's mean."

"No, stupid. It was like a simile or personification. One of those stupid literary terms. Mark would know."

The alcohol was beginning to take it's toll on the boys as they continued going back and forth, each claiming an act they had perfected better than the other.

"I bet I'm a better kisser," Roger said. He stood up. By this time, he was shirtless, as he earlier claimed to have better abs than Benny. He had won.

"You think?" a shirtless Benny also stood up. "We'll let Maureen judge that when she gets in."

"Dude, she's Mark's girl," Roger protested, still sober enough to have some decency.

"She cheats like hell, what's the matter?"

"Mark's my friend, you sick fuck," Roger stumbled a bit. "You mean you're messing around with her?"

"Just once or twice, nothing serious. You mean, she hasn't come on to you?"

"We haven't done anything since prom, thank you," Roger crossed his arms. "But I'm still a better kisser than you."

"I bet you aren't," Benny said, forgetting the previous remarks about Maureen. "But who can tell us, we haven't kissed the same girl, except Maureen, but she's not here to settle this."

"C'mere," Roger's words were slurred. "I'll show you that I'm a better kisser than you."

"You serious?" Benny walked over to Roger.

"Yep," he said. Putting his hand on Benny's shoulder, Roger placed his lips against Benny's. His tongue gently slid through Benny's lips, and Benny returned the favor.

"Damn, you are pretty good," Benny agreed.

"Not so bad yourself, but…"

"What? You think you're better?"

"That I do."

"No fuckin' way, man." Benny pushed up against Roger, knocking him backwards onto the couch. Roger, too far gone to realize what he was doing, kissed back. He hadn't kissed this good a kisser in a long time – girl or guy. It was a nice feeling for both of them, even if it was alcohol induced and served no other purpose than an ego boost.

"What the fuck?" a new voice – a girl's voice – said.

Benny broke apart from Roger, sitting up quickly and getting off Roger.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Maureen said again, staring in utter awe and confusion at her roommates. "Do I really want to know?"

"I think I do," Mark said from behind her, an amused grin on his face.

"Hush, Pookie," Maureen said, glaring at Roger and Benny.

"Yeah, you may wanna know," Roger said. "Think you could settle something for us, Maureen?"

**Fin**


End file.
